24 Coming Out Tips
by Clyde Berry1. Never come out in an argument or to hurt someone
2. Never come out in a moving vehicle.
3. A person is more intelligent than a group of people, come out to people one at a time and somewhere private.
4. People who are ignorant may say things…
(via thetrevorproject)
On the official day that DADT has been repealed, watch as this young soldier publicly comes out to his father. This video is brave, inspiring and powerful.
“The most important thing is to remember that you are not alone. We all have this notion that we’re so alone, and no one understands our struggle, and we just choose to suffer in silence. Listen, you don’t have to suffer. If people who are struggling to come out would talk to other folks more, they’d realize there are hundreds, and thousands, of people in the EXACT SAME POSITION. Silence isn’t golden - it’s deadly. It’s why people stay so far in the closet that they end up finding a belt and hanging themselves while in there. There is a great saying that says there is a time for everything under the heavens. A time to love, a time to cry, a time to dance, and a time to grieve; there is nothing new under the heavens. That said, your coming out isn’t as unique or turbulent as you might think. Nor is it new. Your mother’s reactions won’t be new either. But your lonelieness doesn’t have to be something you own. Surround yourself with great people, ones that are truly supportive of you. Hell, take one of them with you when you talk to your mom, who is “open” to these things, allegedly. If it takes someone holding your hand through it, then by all means, do it! Get ‘er done!
Be sure that YOU are ready to hear yourself say “I’m gay” or whatever, out loud, to your mom. Be sure you’re ready to live open and honestly. Expect a knee-jerk reaction from your parents, some of your friends, and others in your life. Please, also remember that no matter what anyone says, you are YOU, just the way you were meant to be. I have personally told people if they have a problem with me, they should probably take it up with God. It’s THEIR issue, not YOURS. It’s not your job to pacify anyone, or make anyone feel better. That doesn’t mean you’re a jerk when coming out, it means you have to take responsibility for you, and your words, and your approach. Their reaction is their own, and they have to own that just as much.
When I told my mom I was gay, I assured her it wasn’t anything she had done, nor did it have anything to do with how she raised me, or anything she said. In fact, I told her that my only regret was not doing it sooner, despite her backlash. I’m from a VERY religious family, and to this day my mother tries to convert me via email. She recently told me she was embarrassed by me being a homosexual son, and that she would “never, at anytime to anyone” discuss it. You know what though? My life goes on, and I’m happy. I’m living as openly and honestly as possible. My mother suffers in silence because she doesn’t want a gay son, and she’s afraid of other people’s responses. That is how I choose NOT to live - worrying about other people’s opinions of me or what I do.
You are going to be a wonderful and brilliant addition to the gay community and society when you come out and live as who you are, without apology. You know what, come out to others around you first. Get used to saying it out loud. By the time you get to your mom, you’ll be like “Hey, guess what, I’m bisexual. Wanna go to Applebee’s?” Or come out to her first. Get the toughest thing done first, and it’s all downhill from there! Your mom’s never going to hate you. She might not like what you are, but who gives a shit. That’s HER issue. The best way to honor your parents is to be the best person you can be, which is what any good parent has always taught their child.
Be the change you want to see in the world.”